Eeek – I jumped onto the scales today and clearly they are broken !! The number is way too high for my liking, I’m guessing it’s because I’m growing my hair long and haven’t trimmed my finger or toe nails for a while, surely this accounts for all of it ??? …. plus I drank a lot of water and water is heavy right as is all the extra fabric on my dress and the watch, oh the heavy weight watch that I’m wearing plus the hugely heavy bangle, they all add up right ??? LOL …..#Excuses #GetReal
Reality Check …
OK – let’s stop the joking and be serious – in all honesty I’ve known that I’ve been gaining weight and losing my fitness for a long time (thanks to all of you who have been polite and said I look great etc, but really you did me no favours by doing this – next time please don’t be so polite ….), and for some reason although I knew this myself I just didn’t have the motivation to change it – of course I wish I had earlier as we all know addressing a problem early on is often (see I told you so above, I’m blaming you not me LOL) is much easier than letting it drift along and get worse.
Here are some of the little tale tell signs that I’ve chosen to ignore that haven’t helped :
my clothes has been getting tighter and I stopped wearing fitted dresses and slouched into more relaxed styles which we all know allows you to go up a size or two without realising
I let go of my healthy eating plans and instead got tempted back to sugary treats and empty alcohol calories
I eat out now so much more than I ever have done before
I ignored my breathlessness when walking fast instead blaming the humidity, the sand, the dust or anything else I could think of at the time.
I stopped tracking – what I was eating, how much exercise I was doing, my body measurements and my weight
After making it to the top of Kilimanjaro I reduced, then stopped, then started and then lapsed with my exercise routine
I lost myself for a while
In reality, I lost my mojo and I want it back – I want to Commit2Fit both here on this blog, and of course on my social media channels, where I will share the ups & downs, trials, tribulations and sweaty trainer stories, through to sharing a summary of my progress and knowledge gained along the way in the #Fitspiration section of FoodeMagDxb where, along with Editor Ishita of IshitaUnblogged, we will be sharing our stories of how we are working towards losing the dreaded and infamous Dubai Stone and then some …..
There’s a ton (excuse the weight related pun) of reasons that I lost focus, and I don’t want to dwell on them as it doesnt’ help but a few things do spring to mind which might surprise you a bit and did me when I sat back and took stock of things. In all honesty because I lost weight so quickly after my weight loss surgery, I had a bit of an identify crisis and ‘lost myself’ during the process, it seems that this is quite typical and normal for people who lose weight as rapidly as I did (72kgs in 14 months – just about half of me) and most people regain some of the weight that they lost during this process, so my story is kind of normal, except I’ve gained more weight than most people and more than I would like to.
When I was losing weight I thought my end game and the size I would be comfortable in, would be a UK size 14/16, that was my measure in success – in reality I ended up a UK 8/10 which was a whole new me and a challenge for me mentally as this was a size I had never been in my whole like (ok maybe aged 14 or something, but never in my adult life. On the surface this sounds fantastic, “bravo, lucky you, able to wear anything etc” were comments I heard all the time, and of course I was proud of my achievements, after all I had worked very hard for them, but below the surface it brought all sorts of challenges to me which I hadn’t anticipated. For example my body shape which had always been curvy was now lean and without curves and frankly I didn’t feel sexy this way, in addition I was attracting attention more than I had ever done before and this was uncomfortable for me too (I also lost some friends along the way which surprised me, maybe they were more comfortable with me being their ‘fat friend’ than their ‘fit friend’), being smaller also took me mentally back to a very uncomfortable time in my life a long time ago when I think that I unconsciously started gaining weight as a protection mechanism.
Putting the body images aside for a while I also had some major changes to my personal life, both in terms of my relationship and also in terms of my work and career which again caused a change and/or loss in my focus.
Add this to the fact that my website was becoming more and more popular and I was becoming more serious about writing my blog and as a result of this was receiving more and more invites and requests to eat out and review food more often, I found myself finding more time to eat and socialise and less time to exercise.
Now I know that you will ask why my surgery (90 percent of my stomach has been removed) didn’t keep me trim and there are a few reasons :
Firstly the stomach capacity does increase over time, whilst my stomach will never be able to expand anywhere near as much as it did pre surgery, it’s not as tiny as it once was – post surgery I was barely able to eat half a scrambled egg and struggled to get enough calories into me for nutrition.
Secondly, whilst I am limited in terms of the quantity of quality protein that I can eat (typically no more than 150g at any one time) until I am full, I am able to eat, almost without restriction food that is soft and doesn’t take up much tummy space – eg biscuits, cakes, sweets etc – but of course these are high calorie, and full of sugar and of course, as we know – or should know – if sugar is not burned immediately it’s stored in the body as FAT!
Thirdly I’ve stopped eating mindfully and focussing on my nutrition needs – my rules post surgery were always protein first, then carbs and very occasionally a sweet treat. I tracked everything I ate and drank and had a strict target of trying to get about 100g’s protein per day, which in reality was a challenge and more than filled me up even by eating six times a day.
Finally, I didn’t drink alcohol or any form of liquid calories with the exception of protein shakes or milk for eighteen months.
BUT it’s not all bad news and please don’t think that the above are excuses, they are just the reality of what’s happened to me over the past few years. Lets not look backwards, but forwards and ‘upwards and onwards’ as my gran would say…. the good news is that as of TODAY I am TAKING ACTION and will be working with a fabulous team of fitness and nutrition experts based here in Dubai who are going to work with me and help me to get my #Fitspiration back. More details about the team, and the approach we are going to take will be in my next post, but if you want to take a sneak peak then the lovely team at Born2PerformFitness are my new hero’s.
As for now – at this very moment I’m signing back onto some of the apps that helped me track my progress before and dusting off some of the fitness gadgets that helped too – hello My Fitness Pal, FitBit and Polar Heart-rate monitor and my beloved trainers – you are about to become my new best friends again.